Log in

Jess's Journal of Jargon

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012
9:21 am - Remember
Remember who you are.... remember..... remember.

current mood: mindful

(comment on this)

Sunday, January 27th, 2008
1:57 pm - Silent all these..... months.
Yeah, I never update. We all know that. But six-plus months later, and things are still.... int.

I need to look for my internship for next year.... Hasn't happened yet. Things in my life need to change. They just.... have to. And only I can make it happen.

I dyed my hair red.

current mood: sick

(3 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
10:59 pm - Maybe....
Yeah, I am def feeling borderline right about now.

I dunno, a lot of crap is going on in my life. I guess things could always be worse, so I shouldn't complain. But basically, my conclusion thus far is this: 2007 = worst year EVER.

On a good note, however, I did get the intern position for the Fall. : ) I'll be at a nursing home doing music therapy.... I cannot wait.

..............I miss you.

current mood: contemplative

(4 comments | comment on this)

Friday, March 16th, 2007
10:28 pm - C is for Cookie (it's good enough for me- hey!)
Well, Martha gave me a "C," so I thought I'd try this.... Besides, I have nothing better to do, while I am waiting for *certain people* to talk to right now.............

List 10 songs that begin with the letter given to you and explain why you picked them. Comment and I shall give you a letter.

1. Change the World ~ Eric Clapton
Okay, honestly, this is just the first song I thought of when I thought of "C" songs. I guess it's appropriate for me kinda right now...
"...but for now I find it's only in my dreams that I can change the world..."

2. C is for Cookie ~ Cookie Monster (Sesame Street)
Again, the second song that naturally just popped into my mind (*pop*)! Actually, I am a bit upset I didn't think of this one first.... But oh well, not how my mind was working at the time. But yeah, it's a good song, and it's fun, and right now I am staring at a box of Caramel Delites Girl Scout cookies on my desk which I am tempted to eat, but am deciding not to eat because it is Lent and a Friday and no snacking during Lent on Fridays!! But at midnight, that will change... and it is mos' DEF good enough for me (hey)!

3. Call Me When You're Sober ~ Evanescence
Well, this is just a great song, which I thoroughly enjoy belting at the top of my lungs in my car when I am driving and happen across it on the radio. Also, Gina Glocksen sung it, like, two weeks or so ago on American Idol and did an amazing job with it. (And to reference Emily- she is soooooooo the Nikki McKibbon of Season Six)!

4. Creep ~ TLC
This just popped into my mind. Actually, it's kind of inside joke which I used to post on my Facebook in the "About me" section. Basically, I am creepy and stalk people who I want to know more about (people who *may...or may not* even know I exist), so one day when talking with Manny I think I may have referenced the lyrics in this song and how they apply to me, as a joke. "So I creep, yeah, just creep, yeah.... oh-wah, oh-wah, oh-waaaaaaahhhhhh!" The best part was prob the end, there, with the "oh-wahs." Ask me to sing it sometime, and I'd be more than happy to demonstrate.

5. Cry ~ James Blunt
This song was just playing on my play list, so I decided to put it down. It's really a beautiful song, from one friend to another. The singer discusses the hard times he's been through, and so he just wants to let his friend know that now that the friend is going through some hard times, the singer will be there for his friend if he needs a shoulder on which to cry. I've used this on several mix CDs I have made for friends going through tough times... I find it quite powerful. I can play my own *slightly more girly* version on guitar, too.... Just beautiful.... and sad.... but nice.

6. Can You Feel the Love Tonight? ~ Simba & Nala (The Lion King)
This song is also on my playlist right now! I just looooooove this song, and I love The Lion King (the Disney movie and the Broadway show and all the music in both). So amazing!! But anyways, this song reminds me of eighth grade, because it used to be one of "my songs" for the guy I had a crush on at the time named Gary. Andrea would prob remember this... haha. What even was I thinking back then?!

7. Como la Flor ~ Selena
I just love Selena, and this song (also on my playlist) means that, "like the flower" I know that I have to wilt and die, because you have moved on with your new love and I am glad you are happy.... but oh, how I hurt. (Again, Andrea gets why I like this song so much.... good times).

8. Cigarettes AND Crazy People ~ The Wreckers
Sorry, I couldn't pick just one! Both are amazing songs, and The Wreckers are also amazing.... Crazy People is fun, and I love the chorus which states, "only crazy people fall in love with me," which I feel is true, but just that line and not the rest of the song, seeing as it goes on to discuss how robbers and cheaters and stealers and killers fall in love with "me" (aka The Wreckers).... so yeah... no. And as for Cigarettes, again- chorus = true, but not the rest (seeing as I do not smoke cigarettes; Emily and Carlos would like this song).
"Someday, maybe somebody will love me like I need
And someday, I won't have to prove 'cause somebody will see all my worth
But until then I'll do just fine on my own..."

9. Candy ~ Mandy Moore
I just love Mandy Moore and this song! It reminds me of high school and some good times.... Honestly, when I look back at Mandy's first CD, I see why she now looks back on it and asks herself, "What WAS I thinking?" She was soooooooo trying to be Brit Brit back then, and sooooooooo not succeeding. But Candy is still a good song, regardless. But yeah, I am glad she is more herself now, doin' her thang, yo. But yeah, I sung part of this song for a talent show senior year of high school, and received a standing ovation.... Oh, how I miss performing... I've got to get to some more open mics.

10. Champagne Supernova ~ Oasis
Well, besides the fact that I just came back from Florida and sunny, 80-degree weather and palm trees and beaches and pools yesterday (which now feels like an "oasis" seeing as I am surrounded by snow and ice and cold)...... I guess it's pretty self-explanatory, and flows from some of the above explanations to my song choices (if you actually managed to read all of those up there, lol... Kudos to you... no, I see you have a box of Kudos, there....)

"Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide
Of a champagne supernova in the sky..."

current mood: indescribable

(3 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, March 8th, 2007
12:34 am - Not really sure...
I'm not really sure why I'm writing now... Mos' prob because I have 2 papers to do (one mini pape, overdue by 3 days) and one LARGE pape (overdue by 3 months). Yeah, I am that good. Also, I have a book to read, which I began reading two days ago, and it is actually quite interesting... but I am feeling guilty about reading it when I have an overdue paper(s) to write... Oh, that book.... is due tomorrow. :\

So here's a thought.... I know this is crazy, but I am actually thinking... *maybe* of auditioning for American Idol next season. I mean, if I don't have anything serious on the audition dates, and if one of the audition locations is somewhere in a Northeast..... I think I should go. Maybe if I could somehow get a group of close friends to come with me, we could make it like, a road trip. Stay in a hotel room for a few nights (sing a "Hotel Song" and write on some "Hotel Paper".... ;) ), and take turns driving, if it is like, more than a 3-hour drive away. I just think it would be really fun, and it would give me an opportunity actually to audition. I mean, if I made it... to Simon, Randy and Paula- great! If I made it further, superb! But if not, hey, I had a road trip with friends, good times, good memories, and prob good pix knowing me... and I had one more audition experience.

I dunno... I just feel like even though this music therapy thing has def become a reality for me and a dream of mine, it is not my only dream. I have many more... I actually began to make a life list (a la Ellen), and I have over 100 dreams/things I wish to accomplish before I die. Some are def reasonable, and I know will happen. Others are a reach, but I am sure I can accomplish a good deal of those... Still others, are way way waaaaaaay above my level. But I wrote them down anyways, because I believe in reaching for the stars.

I mean, gaining stardom from American Idol is not exactly my "dream" dream.... But I mean, let's face it. What other opportunities for getting noticed do I really have? Open mics here, but no one will go with me because no one lives near me... So those are out. Plus, they might get old after a while. I dunno. I don't know anyone who owns a record label..... yet. And I have tried recording my songs on my computer, but the quality is crap... and you can prob hear some member of my family shouting in the background, or some dog yapping, or a police car buzzing.... I just basically want an opportunity to record a CD, sell it to enough people so that I can pocket some money, and give the rest to some sort of charity or good cause (I haven't decided what yet...), and more importantly, I just really want a chance to touch people's lives. Which of course, means that I kind of just made a full circle here, because with music therapy I obv would be touching people's lives with my music.... Just... in a different way. So I don't know. Both are appealling... in their own ways. I dream of both.... and more. Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, for instance. Meeting Danielle Rose.... Getting married..... Having kids..... Being the musical guest on Ellen..... Making a religious/spiritual pilgrimage.... Learning how to play bar chords on guitar without complaining about my stupid non-bendy thumb which seriously messes that up for me (now that I am actually trying)........ Touching people's lives with my music.

...Being an instrument of God.

It is Lent, and honestly... I am thankful.

current mood: dreaming

(3 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, February 1st, 2007
2:00 am - Mostly Three Weeks Ago, but also One Year Ago...
Well, today (aka technically yesterday, but I haven't been to bed yet so I am still calling it "today") made me think of how three weeks ago, my uncle passed away. I keep thinking about it, but especially Wednesday nights and Thursdays it seems to be on my mind more so than during any other time of the week...

What is interesting, though, is that I just realized that January 31st one year ago was quite a day, too.... It's weird because I knew it had been coming up for a while, and I kept thinking about it beforehand, and then it came... and passed.... and then at 12-something am on February 1st, I remembered that I had forgot to remember it was one year ago January 31st. Instead, I had been thinking about how it was three weeks ago January 31st.

Somehow, the three weeks ago still seems more important. More real. More... consuming my mind. One year ago.... I care about, but not as much as three weeks ago.

Three weeks.... 3.... 21 days ago... versus 52 weeks.... 365 days.

2 + 1 = 3.

Three weeks.........

...I still have not quite been able to pick up the guitar since three weeks ago. I seriously considered it today, but I "ran out of time." I suppose I could have made time if I really wanted to... Oh, well. Maybe next week at this time... Maybe next Wednesday. Almost one month later. Or maybe on February 10th. And now I am dealing with the anniversary of Papa's death, too. February 4th. And his birthday was the 11th. Valentine's Day just blows every year. Every... single... year.

And 2007 is not starting off on a happy note.... More like a minor chord, instead. *insert Dr. Cichy face here*

That paper is still not finished. Li'l G part the second.

current mood: reflective/depressed

(comment on this)

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
8:37 pm - Please pray for my Uncle and my Aunt
My Uncle is dying.... and so I ask anyone and everyone who reads this please to say a prayer for him during this difficult time. Also, pray for my Aunt, who needs God now more than ever.

This.... is so hard.

How can we deal?

I love you, Uncle Joe.

current mood: sad

(comment on this)

Thursday, January 4th, 2007
4:40 pm - All Hail, Queen of Procrasti Nation!
Yes, that would be I. I don't know why I am on here, really.... Checking mah friends' journals.... takin' some pointless surveys..... and oh yes, procrastinating. Somehow, I MUST get through this. Somehow.... I'm not really sure how, but I KNOW that I can and that I SHALL get through it. Fo' reals, yo.

...But in the meantime, Jess is dealing with some major issues... or in her case, major jessues. Somehow, she'll work 'em out.


current mood: D-E-D: dead

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, December 16th, 2006
12:42 am - SOOO True! I wish my PC friends could see this, ha!

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

....and she's STILL procrastinating.

current mood: AWKWARD!

(comment on this)

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
1:34 am - Hair
My hair is getting long.... for me, that is. I could prob cut it now if I wanted to donate it to Locks for Love..... but not yet. I am going to wait at least until my Birthday. Maybe by then, I will actually learn how to DO something with my hair when it is this length... hm.....

I still want to dye my hair red someday.... Maybe next Autumn (I know, I said that about this Autumn).... but I do like my dark-and-mysterious, sultry kind of look. I dunno. I like both.

Lately I've noticed that everytime I go to type the word "like" I end up typing "love" instead.... Hmm....

BTW, I have 4 papers to write.............. due this week......... and yet here I am. :P

current mood: stressed

(2 comments | comment on this)

Friday, October 27th, 2006
7:13 pm - ENF..........P
Apparently, I am more of a "P" than a "J" type of person.

Strangely enough, I took the Myers-Briggs inventory for my Vocational class at Les U the other day... So my "P" means I am a more, "go with the flow, spontaneous" kind of person. So ALLEGEDLY, I may be more spontaneous than I originally thought. Okay, maybe I am not making spontaneous decisions every second of my life. But I am usually making spontaneous-like decisions in order to avoid doing the work I have to for school. It's weird too, because I don't like schedules because they feel confining, but I often like to make them for myself because I feel I should and I feel better about myself afterwards, but then I tend only to follow them when it comes to things I HAVE to do (ie go to class, go to work, babysit, go to Church). Whenever I make schedules for my time off, I never follow them.

As for the organization part of J people, I kind of always thought of myself as fairly organized.... But then I think about it, and it's more along the lines of "I WANT to be organized." Am I actually? Well, yes and no. Ok, right now my room is not the best example. However, if you were to look inside my drawers and in my closet, most things are neatly put in place. Also, when it comes to clubs in which I am involved, I am pretty well-organized with binders and folders and such. I am also majorly OCD when it comes to certain things... but that's prob an entirely separate issue. (hehe.... "uh-shooh")

So in conclusion, I am P, but only by a smidge. I still greatly admire truly spontaneous people, who can just up and leave and take a road trip to another state for the weekend out of nowhere, and things of this nature. Yet at the same time, I also have much respect for people who are truly organized, who actually follow through and MAINTAIN organization for extended periods of time. However, too much organization and togetherness and uptightness is frustrating for me, too. So basically.... I am P. Barely and confusedly.... but I am still a P.

current mood: lazy

(comment on this)

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
4:38 pm - Spontaneity
Today, as I was leaving Vinthi's Cambridge apartment, riding the T, I had a thought. What if... What if I decided to be spontaneous? For once in my life, what if I just hopped off the T at Harvard instead of Porter, and decided to walk around, explore, eat some food, and look for that church that Father Guido was talking about...? What if I didn't come home when the rentals expected me? What if I didn't phone home? What if I didn't pick up if anyone called me? What if I stayed in Boston all day until later...? What if I did something, for once, that was just nowhere in my thoughts until right that moment, that second, as I was bumping along with a bunch of random, nameless faces on the T?
I seriously was considering it. Yes, I thought. I can do this. Just do it! Just hop off the T, walk up the stairs, and breathe that fresh air of food and fumes and... spontaneity. Victory. It's so easy. Do it. Do something for yourself, for a change. For no one else.
My heartbeat was racing. My head was spinning. I was thinking, oh my gosh, I am actually about to do this. I am really about to do something I had no intentions of doing today. I have... school work to do! (Psh, that's never stopped you before)! I have... a letter to write! (So? Write it later today, or tomorrow)! Errands to run...? (Who cares?! You'll survive for a while just fine)! Umm... hmm...........
I really did plan on doing it. In that moment, I wanted to jump up and down on the train. Yell and scream to all the passengers, "Guess what I am about to do?!?!?! Yahooooooooooooo!!!"
And then.... Harvard came. "Hahvahd! Exit on ya left." And I just sat there. I could not move. All those thoughts, all those intense feelings I had been experiencing only moments before... vanished. And the doors closed... and the train moved along.... and I was once again, back to the same place where I began. Back to routine.... back to reality.

current mood: lost

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
2:13 am - Grace
God uses us in mysterious, often unexplainable ways..... I relearned this my first day back at Wal~Mart, today........ Wow. How He could trust me is beyond me... But He does.

current mood: contemplative

(comment on this)

Sunday, May 14th, 2006
6:48 am - So many feelings....
Today = Mother's Day.
Mother's Day = the last time I saw my grandmother alive
Today = May 14th
May 14th = the day my grandmother passed away in 1998
Mother's Day and May 14th were not the same day back then....

So much work to do, I am not sure how I can get it all done before my big week........ Please help me, Lord.

Oh, and I took this random quiz just for kicks....... It's very me.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

.......... leave the pieces when you go.

current mood: ish

(comment on this)

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
10:22 pm - O' course...
Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance

I'm home for Easter break beginning tomorrow night. Yay, family!

current mood: pensive

(comment on this)

Friday, March 3rd, 2006
5:59 pm - WHY?!?!?!
Sometimes, I just don't get you...

current mood: annoyed

(comment on this)

Friday, December 16th, 2005
7:53 pm - 'Til I Get Over You
Give me another year or so... and I'll be over it. It's already a work in progress.

Oh, PC held its annual Acoustic Christmas show... featuring me! I thoroughly enjoyed performing, and much thanks to those who actually supported me. Carols is def my number one fan.

See you all at Christmastime! I am home from December 20th until January 9th. I am touring with Concert Chorale/I Cantori when I get back to PC early. Hopefully I will see some of you guys over break! Much love!

current mood: irritated

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, July 31st, 2005
1:19 am - Live Journal Comment Stats.... question mark?
After I saw Danielle's entry I was a bit... well, CURIOUS... about my own LJ comment stats. Why?, I don't know... Maybe it is just the word STATISTICS that draws me in for some strange reason. Or should I say... statistix? Statististix? Haha. That reminds me of Diana and our "Dictionatarionism" for some reason.... Anyways, back to stats. So yeah... I did well in that class, so it's all good. Although it does make me cringe, a bit... Hearing that word... Statistics. Eep. Anyways, here goes.... forgive me if this messes up, for I know not what I do. Haha.

See my comment statisticsCollapse )

current mood: intrigued

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, April 7th, 2005
5:30 pm - Mix
How to make a mandycrowe

5 parts intelligence

1 part arrogance

5 parts empathy
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Hee hee... MIX!

current mood: worried

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
9:21 am - I love how my result changes depending on my mood...
Where Are You Now?
Where Are You Now?

Which Michelle Branch song from Hotel Paper are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Maybe I'd be better on my own
No one ever seems to understand me
It's easier for me to be alone
But there's still a piece of me that feels so empty.

It is interesting that when I was reading old entries of mine, I realized I had an entry from Day 29 of Lent. Today is Day 28 of Lent...... I maintained some of the same vows, but also - this Lent I gave up listening to Michelle Branch music. I find it interesting that she will be in Boston on March 25, 2005 - Good Friday. I will also be in Boston that day.........

current mood: rejected

(1 comment | comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page